I was married, then divorced, at a very young age. Like Michael in the movie, I didn't know any better and did the best I could in a situation that was not working out. I did everything I could to make that marriage work; I knew no humility. So watching this movie brought me to a place of self reconciliation. As I sat there watching this movie twice with the amazing man that I'm married to now, I couldn't help but cry with gratitude for what I got out of the first marriage experience. I have ALWAYS said (LONG before seeing this movie) that I believe there is a reason God has you stand in front of a room full of your friends and family and promise Him to love, honor, etc. If it was as easy as just making a vow to another person, there wouldn't be any need for the minister, the ceremony or all of the hub-ub we put into the "I Do's". I found out the hard way that sometimes "I DO" is all you have to go on. And it's sad that, for some, "I DO" just simply isn't enough. For me it is... always was. So I couldn't help but smile (and even laugh hysterically...this movie is funny too) watching poor Caleb learn what love really is after messing up in a really big way. But he got it and wanted to love his wife and wanted to be happy. I'm lucky that the second time around I got to marry a Caleb; God knows how much of a "Caleb" my husband really is! I thank God that he never gave up on me! But I'm even more lucky that the second time around I got to BE a Caleb! But I think that's really the point. I always was a Caleb! Caleb loved his wife no matter what she did. He learned that loving her had very little to do with her at all. It was a commitment he made and he was going to follow through for himself. That is when he really learned to love her... it became something he just did no matter what she said or did. In return, SHE learned what love was (through him) and they lived happily ever after.
Why is it so easy for people to give up on the other person? More importantly, why do they give up on themselves and the promises that they've made? I honestly can't answer that. I've never been the one to throw in the towel. And I wonder if the people who have, feel like the character of Michael, like they lost something? I always believed I had married the best or I would not have gotten married. I believe that is the belief that opened the flood gates for God to bring the best to me... the "Caleb" that cared to reciprocate. This year will be our 12th wedding anniversary. I am more than thrilled to say that; I always dreamed of growing old with someone. This movie reminds me how lucky I've always been, even before my Caleb arrived.
Update (albeit a little redundant) a message tagging this post: -- This is dedicated to a friend going through a rough time, hang in there: Marriage is our example in this world that love is a verb. I have always said that there is a reason we vow to love, honor, obey, etc. in front of witnesses TO GOD when we get married. I think that God knew that some days "I do" is all we have to go on. Otherwise, why the public spectacle? Why not just say, "Ok, we're married." Because it's more than that. It's for better or worse and a public proclamation of it. There are days that are better and there are days that are worse and it's those days that love is honored when "I do" is what you cling to. It takes no special skill to love someone when things are good... and a promise is a promise. For any married person who has not seen the movie Fire Proof, I HIGHLY recommend you watch it. For any person considering ever being married I recommend you watch it.... I love it that much! I truly believe there is happiness and freedom when you make it through the fire.... I've experienced it! I've also experienced NOT making it through the fire. Divorce is painful, ugly and leaves a lasting mark. Now before I get bombarded with emails and comments from my concerned friends and loved ones... it's no one you know! LOL.