Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm Namin Names!

Ok, so my MySpace profile states under the "heroes" heading that I would not name names. I retract that! hehehe. I finally found the final person on MySpace that I wanted to thank for being a pivotal life changer! There is something very healing about saying what you left unsaid. So for all of you out there who were SO curious I will note the 8 people in my life that made the biggest difference; they are my heroes. I will start with my husband.

Honey, thank you for being the one man that I have always been able to count on. Thank you for having so much in common with me and for having even less (as I COULD NOT live with myself... ahahaha). Thank you for teaching me how to forgive and being the biggest influence in my life that I've ever had. While others laid the groundwork before you, you managed to "move mountains" with your sincerity, your loyalty and your patience. While you ARE NOT patient with the little stuff, I'm in awe of how patient you are with the truly big stuff! I so admire your character and appreciate how grounded you are (especially since I'm always up in the clouds). You support me in a way that I'm always suspicious of since no one has ever done that for me before, but now that we are going on 15 years together, I can FINALLY (little joke.. kinda not) thank you for helping me work through my trust issues. As I said, you sure are patient with the big stuff. But I knew you would be, you were right from the start. I was in pieces when you met me and you sacrificed a lot waiting on me with the utmost gentlemanly respect. And at times when my trust falters, you are again so patient to let me talk it through with you. How is it one person can believe in another so much? You give me praise I don't deserve and cherish me like no other. Thank you for telling me that I was worth the wait. I love you with all my heart.

Darvina, thank you for being you: my sister and now my best friend. You were always the big sister that I never really knew because you were on your own by the time I was eleven. With me living in MI and you living in AZ it was impossible to be in each other's lives. I cannot TELL you how glad I am that changed. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You were always "my big sister", up on the highest pedestal. Forever, you could do no wrong! You got saved and a seed was planted 3000 miles away. I am amazed at how I never fail to still look up to you (even though you're shorter... hahahaha), even now. But the beauty of really knowing you and knowing all your quirks and faults is that the "real" person is a million times better than the one I dreamt about so many years ago. There is so much more to love about you in person and watching you transform has increased the height of your pedestal ten-fold. Thank you for dealing with all of my faults and for being my voice of reason.

Roxanne, thank you for just always being there. I couldn't ask for more than you in a best friend. Even when we lose touch and don't speak for years, you manage to ALWAYS forget time has passed. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for always being there when times are rough. You and I were best friends in high school and then I met my ex-husband and unfortunately neglected our relationship that would turn out to be far more lasting. Who knew? And when he left me, you were right there to help pick up the pieces like two years of my life were never lost. But you were used to picking up the pieces, if it were not for you, I might not have survived my mother! LOL. Thank you for always making me laugh. I know that I can always count on your sense of humor and your wit. Thank you for always thinking the best of me even when I'm not at my best. I've never known anyone who finds it so hard to believe I could mess up... that kind of unconditional acceptance blows me away. I have always admired you for that and the way you accept yourself. You are an incredible person; a very rare one indeed.

Nancy, thank you for taking me in. It amazes me that two girls from two different generations could be separated from our spouses at the exact same time and come together to share it. You cannot know how life-changing living with you was. Your own experience and encouragement got me through a very difficult time. You are a special lady and I'm so happy that your relationship worked out and that I got to witness you and your husband reconcile. I think that was the first time I got to see a married couple "go through the fire" and make it through. You're still going strong 15 years later! I could not admire you more for your "beyond everything" love for your husband and your marriage (that is how I always imagined it was supposed to be). You got guts woman! It is something that has stayed with me forever and I love you for it. What I witnessed you go through, as classy as can be, keeps me going when times are tough. You deserve all the blessings of a long, happy marriage.

Lisa, thank you for cultivating what my sister planted. You were instrumental in my salvation. Thank you for teaching me self-acceptance and forgiveness and what judgment truly is. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for you.

Scott, thank you. A million times thank you! You were the catalyst that made it all happen and you don't even know it. Thank you for teaching me that you can be right and alone or concede and be happy. Thank you for teaching me that just because you're mad at someone, that doesn't mean you have to hate them. Thank you for making me finish high school when so many times I wanted to quit. Thank you for imprinting VERY strong values of marriage, of commitment, keeping promises and fidelity. I always thought that 19 years old was WAY too young to go through that kind of pain... I didn't think I'd make it through, hearts shouldn't make it through breaks like that. In being completely broken I learned that I could rely on myself, I COULD rebuild and that I really did deserve to be loved. Thank you for being the thing that made me want to overcome what my mother instilled and for being the vehicle that made me want self worth. You are indirectly responsible for the happiness I have in my life. Beyond any "badness" that you and I had, I am grateful and appreciate what it all brought to me more than I can put into words. I got way more from my experience of being married to you than I lost. I am also grateful that because of you I learned losing it all is gaining everything. I have always thanked God for you!

Grandpa, thank you for being family to me when I didn't have any. You reminded me that God was with me when, quite frankly, I hated him. Thank you for your kindness and your innocent love for me "even though"...

Wayne, thank you for giving me a place to crash and an opportunity to save money to move to Arizona. Thank you for showing me an unthinkable kind of love, the kind of love that expects nothing in return. I didn't know that God made men like you. It truly gave me hope that I would find my prince charming. I witnessed the incredible love that you had for your (then) fiancé when you took in her friend that was in need simply because your fiancé wanted you to. You didn't know me at all, but you wanted to help. I watched you HAPPILY take care of both of us and be a father to her child for nothing more than the love you had for her. You had no ulterior motives; you were the most amazing gentleman to me and a true friend. You had more at 25 than most men do at 45. I wish I had the words so many years ago to share with you. Finding out that the two of you split shortly after I left, broke my heart. How could a love like that not make it? But in reflecting on my own experiences, I realized that special love like that can only be shared between two people that are ready for it... together. Usually we have to abuse it and be abused by it before we can appreciate that love to give and receive with the right person. I think I just confused myself, but I know what I mean... hahahaha! Anyhow, judging from the pics on your MySpace page, it looks like you may have found it and I'm so happy for you. Thank you my friend! PS. Oh, and thank you for introducing me to Wally Pleasant and Ode to Detroit! :)

So there are my heroes. Every one of the people listed above saved my life. I would not be where or who I am without them. I am so grateful for them!

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