Sunday, May 1, 2011

Making a Jackrabbit

So today, I am pondering the word "mistake".   I've personally experienced MANY apologies in my life where the person asking for forgiveness states they made a mistake.  Like many (and I would even venture to say all at one time or another), I've searched myself, relying on my own heart for guidance.  I think for the most part, swift forgiveness is key to dealing with any transgression.  However, where you go beyond that is a completely different thing.  Just because you've forgiven someone doesn't mean things should stay the same.  Sometimes real forgiveness is the direct result of hard resolutions.  So I wanna start here with the word "mistake".

First off.... A mistake is an action that you thought was right but it turned out to be wrong.  When someone knowingly hurts another (doing something they already know is wrong or SHOULD have known was wrong because it's soooooo blatantly obvious), they should not be allowed to say they made a mistake.  That is not the right word.   That's like saying, "I'm sorry, I made a jackrabbit and hurt you."  It's the wrong word and doesn't make sense in the sentence.  No, a "jackrabbit" is actually an "on-purpose".  I'm stunned looking back over my life and thinking of how many times I've heard, "I made a mistake" when it CLEARLY was not.

Secondly.... WHO ARE THEY?  What other relationships do you see around them?  Are they strong healthy interdependent relationships or are they unhealthy, codependent relationships?  Have they lied before?  "Judge a man by his fruit."  I'm seeing now, more than ever, how important it is to take our own feelings out of the equation.  Our emotions lie to us and skew what is really happening.  Our emotions keep us hoping for the best when our brains are trying to get us to tune into reality and who someone really is.

Third.... take out your own trash!!!  Don't take the trash of others.  There is nothing more pathetic than hearing a non-apologetic apology.  "I'm so sorry, I made a mistake and here's how you contributed to me making a mistake."  WHAT!?!  ANYONE else's mistake is THEIR trash and accepting any part of it yourself is craziness!  We ALL have the exact same choices.... do what is right, or do what is wrong:  Black and white.  For those who think there is a grey area.... stop choosing "wrong" and justifying it with your grey area.  Take responsibility for who you are and what you do.

Fourth....  Who gets to call the shots?  I imagine that Dr. Phil would say that both parties get to negotiate where to go from here.  There is a reason I don't watch Dr. Phil.   Wronging someone purposefully and then saying it was a mistake, when you full-well know it wasn't, really should mean that you lose any right to call any shots.  And to start any sentence with, "If you really forgave me..." should really mean ejection from the game.  We decide who to forgive.  If we are smart, we will forgive EVERYONE and let it go, understanding that it is also our choice where it goes from there.  And if WE decided to allow this person to continue hurting us purposefully, then we ourselves are making a jackrabbit.  We are knowingly going back for painful seconds... sometimes thirds and fourths.  Making the decision to sever unhealthy relationships IS NOT unforgiveness.  As a matter of fact, it could be the very vehicle to get us there.

Finally.... LET'S BE REAL!  Reality is a funny thing.  Focusing on removing whatever weird haze we are looking through and TRYING to see the reality of the situation is super hard.  I personally don't believe that we can do it alone... I believe that sometimes it is a gift from God and a gift we need to ask for, a gift that will allow us to discern a mistake from a jackrabbit.

Purposefully and willfully doing what you know is wrong (what you know will hurt someone else) is not a mistake.  To say that you will "try not to make further mistakes" is just empty words.  The very least that ANYONE can do is try not to make a mistake.  I would think that it is far better to commit to not making jackrabbits... ugly, nasty, diseased jackrabbits!


Debra said...

Hey girl *big hugs to you* Hope everything works out ok.

FitterTwit said...

HAHAHAHAHA... Deb, this is just a post in general. There's nothing for me to work out. LOL! Hope I didn't worry you! :)

Krista said...

love you and think this is all so very, very true